[My] Texas Girls Understand Something About Freedom

Yesterday, I took my daughter, my goddaughter, and my wife to a gun range. They'd all decided that learning to shoot a handgun would be fun. No kidding, this is normal behavior for women from Texas. Apparently gunplay is not normal for women in other parts of the country. A friend (goddaughter's mama) just returned from New Orleans where she worked with Habitat for Humanity to build new homes in the 9th Ward. While in NoLa, she met a woman from Connecticut who told my friend that she had never visited Texas and was somewhat afraid to go because, "Doesn't everyone have a gun?" I would have given $50 to hear the end of that conversation. "Yes ma'am, everyone in Texas has a gun and most of us carry one at all times--especially when we're in New Orleans. Would you like to see my highly polished, stainless steel, crackhead killing .357?"

For all the fear that guns cause, you'd think our country was founded by Al Gore and the Fearmongers (which is a good name for a rock band). In fact, it was founded by 18th C. Brits fighting alongside 18th C. Frenchmen and women who all knew how to use a gun. Criminals were only tolerated when they occupied public office, and even then much less so than today. Texas was conquered, settled, developed, and continues to be occupied by a majority of people who understand what a gun is for, and here we have a significant point, a gun is for guaranteeing one's freedom.

If you fear guns, stop it. Your phobia is annoying, and makes me wonder if you also fear matches or automobiles, which kill and destroy far more people and property each year than guns do. Well enough ranting. Yesterday was a joy for me. The girls shot a 9mm auto-loader and a .357 revolver loaded with .38s. They had fun and they learned something important.

I learned something important too. Five minutes after spending an hour at gunplay--while they were still in the gun store and I was paying the range bill--their conversation was onto which type of girly hair product was best given the current wave of heat and humidity (or something like that). I leaned in toward the young man at the register and said, "If you ever wonder why Texas girls are so much fun, just listen to the conversation behind me. They have shifted from guns to gel in the blink of an eye." In the parking lot, I was still giggling when the girls all decided that I should take them for ice cream. What a blessing is the Texas version of femininity!

As for you church planters who may read this. I suggest you learn to shoot a gun and teach your wife and kids. I think that the wolves in your congregation will be less likely to try something shady if they know you take your kids to the gun range before you all go out for ice cream. Well, maybe not, but at least the congregation will have something interesting to talk about when your name comes up.